GOD ONLY KNOWS how long we stood there like that, he kissing me from lips to tonsils, me dying/fainting repeatedly, and time standing still which is more than I can say for me. NOTHING on me was still...and never would be again, I surmised more or less correctly. I would have had a panic attack since I am really good at those, but it all felt so good I never even thought of it. I wonder what that should tell me...crap.
WHO CARES?
WHO THE HELL CARES?
I was convinced our tongues had now formed one tongue and we would be forever joined at the mouth which might make being articulate a bit of a challenge, but wtf and what he was doing elsewhere would make a really hot porn movie...if I knew what that was and we could stop long enough to set up the deal and arrange for the cameras and omg. Howie.
Howie. My FRIEND, Howie...had his cell out and was taking pics of us. OMG. I AM RUINED. I am...
Everyone else had sauntered off in that oh so casual teen way of moving so as not to witness the total desecration of one of their own right before their eyes, and I can't say I would blame them if they didn't even come to the cremation which was scheduled for ten minutes from now more or less. GOD KNOWS there would be some less of me in places and more in others if you get my drift. Speaking of drifting...
I really must consider an escape plan. Really, while I still have an iota of self-respect and dignity and A LIFE left. One I wouldn't have to live in the shadows in some obscure landfill or something. There to partake nightly on REALLY left-over inedibles and then to watch my big-screen in my new home...a discarded refrigerator box complete with hot tub and shower and...WHAT? Essentials you know. Don't all discarded refrigerator boxes come replete with all the essentials of life? REALLY?
Have I ever mentioned Teenagers are angst ridden AND prone to melodrama? Yeah. A teeny bit of a tendency to overreact, exaggerate things and MILK THEM FOR ALL THEY ARE WORTH, while all the while leading up to asking the 'rents for money for 'ESSENTIALS', doncha know. Like the latest shampoo or FRAY-GRAHNCE...and a TOTALLLLLL bargain at only $195 an nanodrop. BAH GAHN AH SAY.
Anyway there we stood, me and my significant whatchamacallit and he seemed hell-bent on drilling for oil or something, while my pal Howie was now video capturing the inside of my right ear and all he needed was a Q-Tip and alcohol to do a thorough cleaning job as long as he was at it. LOL.
Howie and another life-long pal, Rick aka Goofybutt (don't ask) were both busy scanning the now near-record-breaking kiss AND giggling to boot. ANOTHER oh so common teenage affliction along with the pimples, squeakiness and saggy-bottoms. Giggling. Gender-neutral of course. Boys meet girls or other boys and LET THE GIGGLES COMMENCE.
Course there is the requisite giggle while whispering in those tell-tale rear-of-theatre voices FROM STAGE CENTER...DIRECTLY INTO your ear JUST SO you can get the desired amount of FYI. Howie's was...
"Dude. You EVER gonna stop?" The dude is a certifiable brain I am sure you can tell...and that was one of his more crowning achievements. He takes a strange situation and analyzes and then pronounces his verdict. He will make a great attorney someday.A real Perry Mason without Della Street. Paul Drake yes, Della no.
I could have said no, but my tongue being merged with whosis' made that difficult. So I did what I usually do at times like this and stood engaged in whatever you can call what I was doing with Wonder-Boy. I wasn't exactly sure what you would call what either of us were doing but I assumed we would have time to explore it later. Right now he was EVER SO BUSY exploring ME. INSIDE AND OUT. Loved both, I have to admit and HOT FIRECRACKERS did that boy FEEL GOOOOOOD.
Course I had had NO experience at this, little at kissing and NEVER this kind of kiss so penetrating I should have worried about an unwanted pregnancy, but yes it felt DAMN good...and I was now convinced ALL kisses should be like this one except for kissing mom good bye or something.
"You drilling for oil, Brainboy?" My other friend Rick had managed somehow to maneuver himself so he was somewhat directly behind me and somewhat inside my adorable heinie, leaning in to whisper in that tell-tale teen voice in my left ear. Btw, Brainboy is my sometime nickname since I won't turn 15 until 3 weeks after I graduate from high school after finals are final.
High IQ means little if you don't know what to do with it, but luckily I had early on managed to concoct a game plan that at least made it LOOK LIKE I did...and I figured by the time they figured out I was faking I would be gone. One of the tricks mother taught me, and I am still convinced she knew from experience. RAD my mother.
But when I turn 15? THEN, I turn dangerous for a variety of reasons including DRIVING, which is turning my mother into a mass of nerve ends and my dad into a combination of screaming meemies and stony silence as he contemplates the complete destruction of his new Jag convertible. How sad. So young, but Jaguar has more of those or so I am told. If it survives and if I mess up that new toy of dad's, Good bet too, and I may not which would be a sad ending to someone with SO much promise IF I survive adolesence which right now seemed dubious at best.
"No, KlutzPutz," said I knowingly. See Rick is not exactly over-endowed with brain cells functioning in sync with the rest of him. In other words, HE IS A KLUTZ. Not to mention he is ENDOW DEEDY, Boy has a package even SANTA wouldn't have room for and I am convinced he has NO clue that that is true let alone how to use it. Shame. Total waste of 3,000+ inches on a soft day.
He IS bright God knows but as in bright but clumsy which frequently lends itself to amusing anecdotes at his expense, but that is just icing on the cake to a teen. He also is prone to ridiculous comments to describe things or events which means he will be a power to be reckoned with in the Marketing world someday.
Okay. I was about to resume my previous position of RAPEE, when Howie belched LOUDLY into my other ear and Whathisname pulled back, clearing the tongue loading platform for the first time in hours I was convinced. HOW LONG? WHO CARES? Carry on and I was doing that rather well too methinks.
"WHOA," he said grinning.
I felt light-headed and damn near giddy. This was the first time I had actually seen his full face CLOSE UP and WHOA worked for me. GORGEOUS, HOT DAMN! RAD KISSER AND CUTE TO BOOT. I yam truly bless ED I yam. Just call me tweet 'tater cause I YAM.
"YEH _____," said I suddenly remembering I had no idea what his name was, even though we were now Siamese Twins joined at the lip-lock or something and other places too sensitive now to point out and pointing is rude anyway and also too personal to mention but if you are half as smart as I think you are you have already guessed and I will leave you to your imagination. Right now MINE is at the boiling point.
"You're something else, baby boy," he said and I blushed.
"My name is Joey, cutie. What's yours."
I FROZE for a moment. See, if he had just not asked I could have told him my name straight away, but...
"Dusty," Rick blurted and I expressed my gratitude for the assist in my mental blockAID by tossing a look of complete annoyance in his direction. Never works of course but I try. That's my friends. ALWAYS trying to be helpful. At least they try.
"Dusty. Hey, Kewl, baby. REAL Kewl. Love that name. Honest," and he kissed me again...but soft and gently this time. OMG. WHOA was that sensual and sexy or WHAT? I died right then but due to the amazing ability of Superboy to resuscitate...
My hero had just given me the ultimate compliment. Okay almost ultimate but for me it was close enough. I blushed until my shoes turned red along with my kneecaps, now visible under my shorts.
"Thanks" and I at once felt both ridiculously inarticulate and about the same grade level as most kindergardeners at recess.
But then my new saviour and keeper of my flame rode in on his white horse and saved my now totally unhinged ass, and whatever remained of my brain which I have to admit wasn't much. It I know had melted down during the FIERY adventure I had just been engaged with...with...JOEY.
Oh my God. My NEW MOST FAVORED NAME NAME. JOEY. JOEY.
I couldn't stop saying it in my mind. JOEY JOEY JOEY, while smiling inanely and looking like life was rapidly leaving my body when my body in truth was about as far from lifelessness as its possible to get.
GIGGLE, drool, making fool of myself mode.
Joey. Say it soft and it's almost like praying. Say it loud and...nm.
GOD was I a goner.
"Baby, what you say I ditch my posse and you ditch yours. Go somewhere. BE. You dig? They can make it through without us, Huh? C'mon baby. I JUST GOTTA BE WITH YOU, JUST YOU, OK?
Gotta, sweet boy. PLEASE? " That did it. He looked SO hunky and SO pathetic. You would have had to kill me to keep me away from this dude a fresh arrival from the planet OMG HE IS GORGEOUS.
Sexiest mofo I had ever seen, or so I am convinced and would be even more so IF I had a clue what sex was never having had it, but I read things. You know? Yes, I watch TV and movies and I have as good a fictional image of sex as the next teen. CRAP. nm.
UH OH. Yeh, I dig but uh oh.
I was suddenly having a fit of fear attack. See, he had no way of knowing my age and of course...I am a teeny bit too SOMETHING to drive.
I cleared my throat, did the requisite foot shuffle, picked my nose always a crowd pleaser while flinging a boog...nm. In other words I was being myself as the uncomfortable me I do frequently and really well and you will note I am an EXPERT at camouflage. Yeh right.
"I rode with them, so..."I finally somewhat less than bravely muttered almost under my breath while pointing to my friends by now scattered throughout the store, but that was okay since he was still lingering near my left ear with a droopy tongue partly disappeared inside. Needless to say, I couldn't have told you the time of day at that point but I COULD have told you the temperature. HOT, baby...HOT.
"That's okay baby boy, I got my wheels. I'll take you wherever you want to go. ALWAYS baby. ALWAYS."
OH MY GOD. I didn't even know there WERE roads to THERE. Let alone parking ramps.
See, SAVED BY THE HUNKUS, and just in the nick of time too and boy did I want to go and frankly NEVER COME BACK. Just an endless ride into the future by the side of the most awesome dude I had ever laid eyes on and as young and inexperienced as I was back then, I KNEW. THIS was SPECIAL.
You'll see.
OH YES YOU WILL.
HEE HEE.
CHAPTER IV
WE BEGIN...LIFE BEGINS ANEW.
WHO CARES?
WHO THE HELL CARES?
I was convinced our tongues had now formed one tongue and we would be forever joined at the mouth which might make being articulate a bit of a challenge, but wtf and what he was doing elsewhere would make a really hot porn movie...if I knew what that was and we could stop long enough to set up the deal and arrange for the cameras and omg. Howie.
Howie. My FRIEND, Howie...had his cell out and was taking pics of us. OMG. I AM RUINED. I am...
Everyone else had sauntered off in that oh so casual teen way of moving so as not to witness the total desecration of one of their own right before their eyes, and I can't say I would blame them if they didn't even come to the cremation which was scheduled for ten minutes from now more or less. GOD KNOWS there would be some less of me in places and more in others if you get my drift. Speaking of drifting...
I really must consider an escape plan. Really, while I still have an iota of self-respect and dignity and A LIFE left. One I wouldn't have to live in the shadows in some obscure landfill or something. There to partake nightly on REALLY left-over inedibles and then to watch my big-screen in my new home...a discarded refrigerator box complete with hot tub and shower and...WHAT? Essentials you know. Don't all discarded refrigerator boxes come replete with all the essentials of life? REALLY?
Have I ever mentioned Teenagers are angst ridden AND prone to melodrama? Yeah. A teeny bit of a tendency to overreact, exaggerate things and MILK THEM FOR ALL THEY ARE WORTH, while all the while leading up to asking the 'rents for money for 'ESSENTIALS', doncha know. Like the latest shampoo or FRAY-GRAHNCE...and a TOTALLLLLL bargain at only $195 an nanodrop. BAH GAHN AH SAY.
Anyway there we stood, me and my significant whatchamacallit and he seemed hell-bent on drilling for oil or something, while my pal Howie was now video capturing the inside of my right ear and all he needed was a Q-Tip and alcohol to do a thorough cleaning job as long as he was at it. LOL.
Howie and another life-long pal, Rick aka Goofybutt (don't ask) were both busy scanning the now near-record-breaking kiss AND giggling to boot. ANOTHER oh so common teenage affliction along with the pimples, squeakiness and saggy-bottoms. Giggling. Gender-neutral of course. Boys meet girls or other boys and LET THE GIGGLES COMMENCE.
Course there is the requisite giggle while whispering in those tell-tale rear-of-theatre voices FROM STAGE CENTER...DIRECTLY INTO your ear JUST SO you can get the desired amount of FYI. Howie's was...
"Dude. You EVER gonna stop?" The dude is a certifiable brain I am sure you can tell...and that was one of his more crowning achievements. He takes a strange situation and analyzes and then pronounces his verdict. He will make a great attorney someday.A real Perry Mason without Della Street. Paul Drake yes, Della no.
I could have said no, but my tongue being merged with whosis' made that difficult. So I did what I usually do at times like this and stood engaged in whatever you can call what I was doing with Wonder-Boy. I wasn't exactly sure what you would call what either of us were doing but I assumed we would have time to explore it later. Right now he was EVER SO BUSY exploring ME. INSIDE AND OUT. Loved both, I have to admit and HOT FIRECRACKERS did that boy FEEL GOOOOOOD.
Course I had had NO experience at this, little at kissing and NEVER this kind of kiss so penetrating I should have worried about an unwanted pregnancy, but yes it felt DAMN good...and I was now convinced ALL kisses should be like this one except for kissing mom good bye or something.
"You drilling for oil, Brainboy?" My other friend Rick had managed somehow to maneuver himself so he was somewhat directly behind me and somewhat inside my adorable heinie, leaning in to whisper in that tell-tale teen voice in my left ear. Btw, Brainboy is my sometime nickname since I won't turn 15 until 3 weeks after I graduate from high school after finals are final.
High IQ means little if you don't know what to do with it, but luckily I had early on managed to concoct a game plan that at least made it LOOK LIKE I did...and I figured by the time they figured out I was faking I would be gone. One of the tricks mother taught me, and I am still convinced she knew from experience. RAD my mother.
But when I turn 15? THEN, I turn dangerous for a variety of reasons including DRIVING, which is turning my mother into a mass of nerve ends and my dad into a combination of screaming meemies and stony silence as he contemplates the complete destruction of his new Jag convertible. How sad. So young, but Jaguar has more of those or so I am told. If it survives and if I mess up that new toy of dad's, Good bet too, and I may not which would be a sad ending to someone with SO much promise IF I survive adolesence which right now seemed dubious at best.
"No, KlutzPutz," said I knowingly. See Rick is not exactly over-endowed with brain cells functioning in sync with the rest of him. In other words, HE IS A KLUTZ. Not to mention he is ENDOW DEEDY, Boy has a package even SANTA wouldn't have room for and I am convinced he has NO clue that that is true let alone how to use it. Shame. Total waste of 3,000+ inches on a soft day.
He IS bright God knows but as in bright but clumsy which frequently lends itself to amusing anecdotes at his expense, but that is just icing on the cake to a teen. He also is prone to ridiculous comments to describe things or events which means he will be a power to be reckoned with in the Marketing world someday.
Okay. I was about to resume my previous position of RAPEE, when Howie belched LOUDLY into my other ear and Whathisname pulled back, clearing the tongue loading platform for the first time in hours I was convinced. HOW LONG? WHO CARES? Carry on and I was doing that rather well too methinks.
"WHOA," he said grinning.
I felt light-headed and damn near giddy. This was the first time I had actually seen his full face CLOSE UP and WHOA worked for me. GORGEOUS, HOT DAMN! RAD KISSER AND CUTE TO BOOT. I yam truly bless ED I yam. Just call me tweet 'tater cause I YAM.
"YEH _____," said I suddenly remembering I had no idea what his name was, even though we were now Siamese Twins joined at the lip-lock or something and other places too sensitive now to point out and pointing is rude anyway and also too personal to mention but if you are half as smart as I think you are you have already guessed and I will leave you to your imagination. Right now MINE is at the boiling point.
"You're something else, baby boy," he said and I blushed.
"My name is Joey, cutie. What's yours."
I FROZE for a moment. See, if he had just not asked I could have told him my name straight away, but...
"Dusty," Rick blurted and I expressed my gratitude for the assist in my mental blockAID by tossing a look of complete annoyance in his direction. Never works of course but I try. That's my friends. ALWAYS trying to be helpful. At least they try.
"Dusty. Hey, Kewl, baby. REAL Kewl. Love that name. Honest," and he kissed me again...but soft and gently this time. OMG. WHOA was that sensual and sexy or WHAT? I died right then but due to the amazing ability of Superboy to resuscitate...
My hero had just given me the ultimate compliment. Okay almost ultimate but for me it was close enough. I blushed until my shoes turned red along with my kneecaps, now visible under my shorts.
"Thanks" and I at once felt both ridiculously inarticulate and about the same grade level as most kindergardeners at recess.
But then my new saviour and keeper of my flame rode in on his white horse and saved my now totally unhinged ass, and whatever remained of my brain which I have to admit wasn't much. It I know had melted down during the FIERY adventure I had just been engaged with...with...JOEY.
Oh my God. My NEW MOST FAVORED NAME NAME. JOEY. JOEY.
I couldn't stop saying it in my mind. JOEY JOEY JOEY, while smiling inanely and looking like life was rapidly leaving my body when my body in truth was about as far from lifelessness as its possible to get.
GIGGLE, drool, making fool of myself mode.
Joey. Say it soft and it's almost like praying. Say it loud and...nm.
GOD was I a goner.
"Baby, what you say I ditch my posse and you ditch yours. Go somewhere. BE. You dig? They can make it through without us, Huh? C'mon baby. I JUST GOTTA BE WITH YOU, JUST YOU, OK?
Gotta, sweet boy. PLEASE? " That did it. He looked SO hunky and SO pathetic. You would have had to kill me to keep me away from this dude a fresh arrival from the planet OMG HE IS GORGEOUS.
Sexiest mofo I had ever seen, or so I am convinced and would be even more so IF I had a clue what sex was never having had it, but I read things. You know? Yes, I watch TV and movies and I have as good a fictional image of sex as the next teen. CRAP. nm.
UH OH. Yeh, I dig but uh oh.
I was suddenly having a fit of fear attack. See, he had no way of knowing my age and of course...I am a teeny bit too SOMETHING to drive.
I cleared my throat, did the requisite foot shuffle, picked my nose always a crowd pleaser while flinging a boog...nm. In other words I was being myself as the uncomfortable me I do frequently and really well and you will note I am an EXPERT at camouflage. Yeh right.
"I rode with them, so..."I finally somewhat less than bravely muttered almost under my breath while pointing to my friends by now scattered throughout the store, but that was okay since he was still lingering near my left ear with a droopy tongue partly disappeared inside. Needless to say, I couldn't have told you the time of day at that point but I COULD have told you the temperature. HOT, baby...HOT.
"That's okay baby boy, I got my wheels. I'll take you wherever you want to go. ALWAYS baby. ALWAYS."
OH MY GOD. I didn't even know there WERE roads to THERE. Let alone parking ramps.
See, SAVED BY THE HUNKUS, and just in the nick of time too and boy did I want to go and frankly NEVER COME BACK. Just an endless ride into the future by the side of the most awesome dude I had ever laid eyes on and as young and inexperienced as I was back then, I KNEW. THIS was SPECIAL.
You'll see.
OH YES YOU WILL.
HEE HEE.
CHAPTER IV
WE BEGIN...LIFE BEGINS ANEW.
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